utk kamu sayang, my worst holidae. 18 may 2009

hurmm. aku nie ashek duk umah je. s0, duk umah, tgk tv la kan? takpun on benda alah nie.
& of coz im waiting f0r him to text me c0z i kn0w he always woke up late. but then, i've waited till dawn, he d0esnt text me yet. & im w0ndering, d0es he ever w0ke up? or is he dead? yeah. it s0unds meann. but then, i shud think like that. as if i dun hav a b0ifee t0 text with.
what is he expecting?

kang aku msg org lain, berangin mamat tu. but then, has he ever tried t0 text me that often. i dunn0 laa. i dunn0 what happened t0 us. i dunn wanna l00se him. i l0ve him s0 s0 damn much. even broader than bef0re. but why did he treated me like this? why? knape die ta suke nak text aku sgt? knape die ta suke nak jmp aku sgt? knape die susa nak ik0t pemintaan aku yg sikit tu je? i need t0 kn0w, what are u d0ing. where are y0u. are u okay. d0 y0u feel well. but then bile org da marah2 sbb ta msg, bru nak bgtau demam laaa, selsema laa, sakit perut laa. gad0 ngn kwn laa. wh0 am i t0 you sygg? am i just y0ur bestfren? classmate? coursemate? knape sygg? knape susa sgt nak bgtau org? knape sayangg?? org ta niat pun nak k0ngkong. but then, ta ckup ke org k0rbankan mase yg kte patut spent t0gether, tapi die pg buat benda lain? d0nt y0u remember every weekends, syg balik penang? syg balik al0r star?
org sacrifice, da la the wh0le weeks ta dpt nak kuar ngn die, then weekends pulak die balik. tp org usaha ckp kat mak tanak balik, just nak curi mase utk spent ngn die, but then org dpt tau yg die balik lagi minggu tu. ya Allah betape hancurnye hati org. tp syg tatau. mmg org marah. org marah sbb ta dpt jmp die. die ingat, sekadar jmp dlm class da ckup ke? smpai kadang2 org fikir, kite nie ta mcm c0uple lain. susa sgt nak jmp. mmg lately kte agak kerap jmp. tp tu pun sbb nak cuti semester. if mmg ta wujud cuti semester nie, org rase, kite akan jmp or spent time same2 sekali je sebulan. syg perasan ta sume tu? syg ta perasann. sbb syg lagi suke lepak ngn kwn2 sygg.

sygg. org bukan sengaja nak ungkit. tapi, lepas mimpi org tu. mimpi yg latest org ckp die balik kat ex die, org jadi tak0t. org tak0t sgtt. org tanak die buat mcm tu kat org. org tanak. die suke cakap org curang. ok fine. org tau die ta suke org cntact da 'bestfren' org tu. oke. mmg mmg skrg org da ta cntact die. & org da ta cntact org lain. f0n org akan bunyi IF msg dr maxis 0r celc0m, kwn2 org kat cmpus ngn sk0la dlu tu, kakak msg 0r call, mak or ayah call, & y0u. tapi m0stly syg laaa. but then, f0n org skrg da ta berbunyi. sbb die da jarang sgt msg org. sehari ta smpai 20 msgs. adakah kite sdg bercinta? kalau ta smpai 20 msgs, org bule je msg ngn wanie, amy, mar, aten, neyna, & intan. mmg takkan lebey dari 10 msg pun.
ok fine, kalau syg ckp, syg bz niaga, ok. org faham. mmg dr pkul 10pm lebey smpai pkul 1am or even 2am la ta msg. then lepas niaga, org tau die nak relaks jap. penat jalan 2 block. pastu die nak sm0ke plak. pastu japg makan byk, saket perut plak. & naahhh. smpai suda ta msg.
siang2 da sah2 kite ta msg sgt. ye la class pack kan? if ta pack pun, ptg tu syg kuar, pegi beli barang. kalau da penat2 tu, lpas maghrib syg kuar plak. g mkn. then balik, td0 jap. even ta bgtau org pun org tau. then pkul 10 da start operasi. bilenye nak msg org? ble nye org nak cite2 kat die. tp even if org cite pun, t mesti die ckp, org lg byk masalah. ok then, org trus ta cite apape kat die. & c0nversation kte makin pudar. & ble dpt mase utk msg pun, die bz. bz jgak buat mcm2. time nak msg org la nak makan. time nak msg org la nak g t0ilet. time nak msg org la nak td0. then when? bile org nak rase yg die syg org? yg die amek berat pasal org. smpai org kne create cite or kte gad0 bru nak msg byk2. & SEKARANGG! cuti pun ta slalu msg. ape cite? da la kite jauh. lebey dr 2 marhalah if nak jmp pun. die da sah2 malas nak dtg sini. org plak tade transp0rt. & kalau ade pun, da sah2 mak ngn ayah ta bg pegi sane. nak kuar ngn kwn2 kat sini pun susa. nie kan pulak nak ke penang tu. jauh tau.

org tau org nie terok utk die. org tau org ta pefect. even mostly org lain ckp, die bertuah dpt org. tapi org rase tak pun. but ive tried s0 hard t0 be the very best f0r y0u syg. ive tried.
kte da c0uple setaun 6 bulan. org tau nie tempoh yg ta berape nak lame.kire setaun jgung lagi laa. but, bende yg org paling takut da jadi. die da b0san dgn org. die da benci kat org. thank y0u sbb penah syg org. thanx sbb slalu layan kerenah org. thanx sbb penah bahagiakan org walaupun utk seketika. thanx sbb penah bwk senyuman & gelak tawa org yg paling manis dlm idup org.
im writing this n0t t0 brag or wutever. tapi utk ketenangan jiwa org. im tired of crying. lpas tulis nie, mmg da st0p nangis c0z da lega even i kn0w, y0u will never ever l0ve me like bef0re.
mmg tyra ckp tyra benci laki. sbb laki sume same. ble da b0san, mule la nak tinggalkan sume yg penah di alami bersama. mmg tyra ckp, tyra da b0san. tyra da b0san bile ta dihiraukan oleh org yg tyra syg sgt2. ta dihiraukan oleh org yg tyra anggap akan jage tyra & idup dgn tyra smpai nyawa & jasad nie dipisahkan.

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